Q: Hi, Chris:
I'm a 29-year-old guy in love with an older married woman from work. She has no kids and loads of problems with her husband.
"Sandy" and I go to lunch almost every day, but I haven't told her my feelings. She's very unhappy and talks about divorcing this guy all the time. I fantasize about this woman day and night. I think she's into me too. I'm guessing she doesn't want to mix a bad marriage with an affair, which I'd like to initiate.
Short of quitting my job and forgetting Sandy, I'm really lost here. What should I do?
--Lost in Louisana
A: Dear Bachelor:
Find a single woman who is available--Sandy is not.
You sound like a sweet guy who is fantasizing about the wrong woman. Sandy has enough on her plate, so please stop the lunches and make yourself as unavailable as possible. She needs a new sounding board (translation: a professional counselor), because it's affecting you. Your frequent and convenient lunches don't help her situation either. In fact, they complicate it.
Don't quit your job. Promise yourself you won't fall in love with anyone else in the workplace, because it's rarely worth it. Or if you do, please keep it to appropriately available women.
Married co-workers "canoodling" with single co-workers is a huge no-no. So don't even go there.
You and Sandy shared lots of lunches together, so I know you like to eat. Sign up today for an evening or weekend cooking class. You'll find tons of lovely, single ladies who love to stir the pot--maybe even one of them with you :)
Please write me again and let me know what happened in that cooking class! I'm keeping my food, er, fingers crossed.