SINGLE PROFESSIONALS: You write, I answer!

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Q & A / Older Can Be Trickier Finding Love

Q: Hi, Chris:

Despite my positive attitude, I wonder if I am being unrealistic thinking I may find a mate in my 50's (marriage would be ideal.) I am age 54 and in excellent physical shape (gym!), smart (master's degree), extremely pretty (if you like long legged, blue-eyed blondes), and I am extremely witty, caring and loyal.

Would a gentleman really care to get to know me, when there are so many younger women with the same qualities?

--- Young at heart in North Carolina

A: Dear Bachelorette:

While age 54 is harder to find a mate than age 34, it truly depends on your social circle or how active AND invested you are in seeking a partner.

You sound beautiful and in great shape, and I bet you look younger than a typical 54-year-old woman. This is where it gets tricky, as I'm guessing you can be picky (rhyme intended.) If indeed you appear much younger looking, you probably are not going to be attracted to the average 54-year-old man (who may end up looking like your uncle!)

If I'm entirely wrong about this, and you don't care about the age of the man or how good HE looks, then someone in his 50's or 60's is going to find you incredibly attractive and lucky to find you!

In an ideal world, we would all prefer a mate as close to our own age as possible. For example, it would be great if the man you're dating knows who the Four Seasons are (besides the 5-star hotel), as opposed to a 65-year-old singing along with Tony Bennett, or a 35-year-old more in tune with Pearl Jam. Although if you're a lover of music as I am, I can relate to most genre and time periods out there (which comes in handy.)

If you're asking do most men in their 50's desire younger? Well, yes and no.

My own clients, who are multimillionaires, are in a class by themselves. Do they desire women 7-12+ years younger? Yes, almost always. When a mature lady meets a middle-aged, average Joe on the street, however, I would say the opposite holds true--most fear younger women and generally prefer their own age.

Lucky for you, these days you can just as easily meet a man 10+ years younger. He may even find you to be the cats meow and appreciate a beautiful, mature and wiser lady. Fortunately, it's not shunned anymore for an older woman to be with a younger guy (but in my eyes, make sure he's sought you out...not the other way around :)

Please write back and let me know if any of this has resonated with you.

Thank you for reaching out. I hope some terrific man is reading this and asks me to forward his contact info to you (which would make me a matchmaker by email, too!)


Chris a.k.a. "Ask the Matchmaker"

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